The Journey West

As you read this, I'm on a plane heading toward my other home.  I wonder how a person can be as torn in two as I am.  In December I set out on an unknown journey. Heading towards the man I love and a country I'd never truly dreamed I'd see. I was leaving behind all I had ever known and my two amazing children.  What helped on the plane that day was seeing Lars' face again, seeing his home, meeting his family...walking in his footprints and seeing the home that he loves. I was urging the plane onward just to see his face and feel his arms.
I have come to love this place. I have met wonderful people and have seen things that made me smile so wide my face hurt. I have seen the sea and it took my breath away.  I have played the Pied Piper to a flock of hungry seagulls. I have seen buildings that defy gravity and walked on streets and sidewalks so uneven its like walking on waves.  I have loved it all.
I have awoke every morning to blue eyes smiling at me and saying "Good Morning, Love" and I have gone to bed every night hearing "Sweet dreams, my love."  I have had an arm to hold as we walk uneven ground and climb stairs to our wedding ceremony.  I have looked into the eyes of a man that I KNOW loves me.

and now I have to leave him here as I go back to life in the US...

I know what I'm heading towards this time...and that is what propels me onward. The other half of my heart is in the USA...my Isaac and Lyllian.  Isaac wrote me the other night and said that he can't wait to be in my arms...that is what keeps me going.  My sweet boy who tries to be tough because he thinks that is what the world asks of him, but in his heart is tender and scared.  My Lyllian who totters between being a princess and playing with toy swords...between a little girl and little lady. Friday night I will walk in my door and feel their arms wrapped around me and feel their kisses on my cheeks.
I'm going to see my family and my friends who are like family.  I'll go back to work and drive a vehicle again (if I remember how).

No matter which way I turn in my life, my heart is breaking.  I've been asked how I do it and, at this moment, I really have no idea.  I feel like I'm on a knife's edge that threatens to slice me apart at any moment.  No matter where I am in this world I'm never whole.

When I am next asked how I do it, there is only one thing I can tell them.  Hope.  Hope that soon my world won't be full of goodbye's and that I can be whole.  Hope that soon my life will be full of my husband telling me good morning and tucking in my babies at night.  Hope that the word 'home' won't be so confusing.

I have been privileged to experience what I have since December 27th.  I've cried and laughed, felt true awe and embarrassment.  I have been terrified and so happy that I felt like I'd burst.  My world has been expanded and I will never be the same...and for that I am thankful. I have gained a family that I love and made friends that I'll never forget.

Thank you to everyone that has followed this journey.

-Kendra de Waardt-Hennis

Water and Air

Ok I had an amazing night with Lars recently and I forgot to write about it. I have a theory...which is that I was so terrified at one point I blocked it out.  I'll explain...
We rode the tram with the intent of riding the Pancake Boat or Pannenkoekenboot and then going to the Euromast.

And now a little video for all of you :)

  

So a little back-story on the video...
We are riding along about 20 minutes into the ride...about time enough for a kid to eat one, maybe 2, pancakes.  Then I see kids running around and hear this noise. So I follow the movement and see a kid disappear beneath the stairs and the unmistakeable sound of balls in a ball pit.  I was like O M G...there is a ball pit!  I want to go all "Sheldon" on it....get in and pop up randomly yelling "Bazinga!".  He dared me to...I declined.  I dared him to yet we both stayed on deck.  Sadly...I think if my price had been right he might have actually done it.
They had 3 types of pancakes - regular, apple and bacon.  HOLD UP! Bacon??  I know!  Bacon...IN a pancake.  I was all OVER that! However....I was all over it after I'd already had 2 pancakes.  I was so excited to eat it that I didn't take a photo (I know, bad photograher/blogger.) and too full after it was gone to eat another one so I could take a photo.  Kinda pathetic, I know.
The bar in the video had things like sprinkles, fruit, and shredded cheese...and on the table there were 2 kinds of syrup and a canister of powdered sugar.  Lars and I were happy people.  On a boat, seeing Rotterdam at night and eating pancakes.  

Then it was over and it was time for me to have the pancakes scared out of me...
Time for the Euromast...

So this has 3 observation points.  These photos and the video were taken from the first one that is about 315 ft and it is where the restaurant is located.  Then you go up about 5 steps, which are on the outside of the stupid tower...can you tell I was not happy about this?  Anyway, then you get in an elevator that takes you to this round, glass paneled, spinning thing that takes you up to a height of 280 more ft.  I was so freaked out at 315 and then the 5 more steps up that I panicked and started to cry...I could not go any higher.  Lars was incredibly sweet about it and would not go up without me, no matter how hard I tried to convince him.  
Maybe next time I come to Holland I can bring the kids and Isaac can go up with him :).

EDIT - At the end of the video you can hear me say something about the material freaking me out. I was referring to this mat they had covering the entire platform.  It looked like the mats you have in the back of restaurants that have big round holes in them, made of rubber, to allow water to go to the floor instead of building up around your feet. Like this...

  The problem with this is that it was spongy and it felt like, with each step, that I was going to fall through the floor. I just didn't want to move an inch.  When we got to the second deck it was just concrete and much easier to walk on...I wish that I had taken more pics at this point though.

So there you go...a wonderful night with my husband...even if it was a little scary.

Blijdorp {Part 2}

So after lunch we went back to the gift shop and found something else to purchase.  I then picked up something else to look out and Lars quickly showed me the way out of the store.  Our shopping time was done.

Outside it was time for the feeding of the sea lions.  I got most of the feeding recorded but when I zoomed out to show you more sea lions it also made it where you couldn't hear the man talking anymore. Its also nearly 10 minutes long so I'm not sure I'm going to post it.  If I get really ambitious by the end of this post I might try to upload it.-

Waiting to be fed.

Next up we had polar bears.  I hoped to see them frolicking in the water...but I saw this instead...

Has his/her tongue hanging out like a puppy :)

 Then we wandered onto some pretty birds hanging out in water...

 Lars and I made a new friend...

No it isn't real...but wouldn't that have been kinda awesome?

Ok everyone, say it with me: AWWWWWWW!!

I thought the rhino was cool.  Then this little girl started talking to Lars in Dutch and he answered her and then he was gone.  I scanned the room for him and saw him crouched down at the edge of the pen.  Turns out that in that little cave beside momma is a baby rhino that the little girl was telling him about. So cute :)  Unfortunately, I couldn't get a pic of it.

Lars likes to surprise me...sometimes I don't like his surprises.  That was the case with this swinging bridge.  It turned out to be pretty cool though and the kid behind us didn't bounce it too much.

Pretty kitty!

So adorable how it is curled up like a house cat :)

One of the many unique statues in the zoo. 

RED PANDA!!! So adorable.

So on the way home we decided to have some pasta in Rotterdam Centraal - the train/bus/subway station in Rotterdam.  Julia's Pasta was amazing.  We went in, ordered the type (we had carbonara) and then ordered the noodles from a choice of 4.  We both got tortellini...and it was amazing.  The only seating was a row of 3 stools and this really cool butcher block style counter.  I snagged us 2 of the chairs and waited...

with spring onion and cooked pork (that is what they called it...I call it real bacon bits!)

The man and woman working in here were very nice and she cooked it really fast for us.  Everything was amazing.  Perfect amount of sauce and perfectly seasoned.  I wish we had tried this place sooner :)

So I tried to upload the video but blogger won't let me so I'll try it on youtube and post it later if it lets me.  Have a wonderful day everyone!

Blijdorp: A Day at the Zoo {Part 1}

Lars surprised us with a trip to the zoo on Sunday.  It was nearly our 1 month anniversary and my loving husband made it special for us.  I'm so grateful that I have such a thoughtful, caring man in my life.

Before we left

So we rode the subway to the Blijdorp stop and we both felt that the zoo would be nearby.  Instead we walked a little ways to get to the entrance.  It was unique.  In the center of town and surrounded by cars and buildings...not what I was used to when it comes to the word 'zoo'.

The entrance that we went through...apparently there are 2.

First thing inside the gate was an open courtyard type space with a pond full of flamingos and I immediately thought of Adiel and got a few shots just for her.

Lars saw a sign that told us there would be a penguin feeding in about an hour and we both love penguins so we knew that we would make our way in that direction...we went the wrong way for a while...but that's ok.  I forgive him.
Our first sight was the Asia section.

We saw a lot of birds in this area...

 We saw a dragon...

 

Cute little noisy otter :)  He moved over to the grass but when a bunch of kids came up he ran over to the rock and started calling to them.  He knew where the food comes from :)

We went through a building to make our way to the penguins...ended up just taking us back to the front...but this was a really pretty space with really neat skylights.

After running the entire length of the zoo we finally found the penguins and made it just in time for the feeding. 

The freshwater walk-through. 

The saltwater walk-through.  This one kinda freaked me out.  The first time we went through it I practically ran.

This is where I almost got eaten be a shark.  Not sure why I'm holding its jaw in what looks like a caring caress.

 And now begins my Blijdorp fashion show...

And here is where I begged for an adorable penguin wearing a tiny t-shirt...it didn't work, by the way.

 Then we stopped for lunch...

My goober.

I'll stop here for now...I have more from the zoo but it has a video and I don't want to over-do this post.  My journey here is almost at an end so I'll drag out the posts for a few more days.  I also realized that I didn't post about the pancake boat or the Euromast and I will do that tomorrow.